The Enabler

The loving parent, the best friend…

The Enablers…

 

An Enabler is someone who gives the addict an easy way to access and use their drug of choice

When someone tells a close family member of a drug addiction victim that they are enabling their loved one, it probably deeply upsets them. Drug addictions are terrible things, and they hurt everyone around the drug user. Moreso if you care about the addicted person you might find yourself in a constant state of worry for the well being of the user. What is an Enabler? An Enabler is that person who provides money, drugs, and a consquence free environment that supports the lifestyle of the drug abuser.

My Son never holds down a job and lives at home. My Wife goes out for a week at a time and doesn’t come back. My best friend shows up at my door at 3am every now and then wasted and looking for a place to crash.

These are common themes associated with enabling. Of course in these cases the Enabler genuinely feels as though they are doing good deeds in taking care of their friend or loved one.

The Empty Nest, the trial of the loving Mother

There is no doubt that a loving Mother will do almost anything for her child. It doesn’t really matter what age the son or daughter is. Also there is a need to have the child at home, even if the child has grown. In many cases this is a form of empty nest syndrome where the Mother is co-dependent on the addict for companionship. This Enables the user to have a lifestyle where it is very easy to use the drugs in a consequence free environment. Of course Mom is concerned but deep down she is afraid of losing her baby. Remember that the drug is in control of the addict’s mind and while the addict would never take advantage of Mom under normal circumstances a drug withdrawal can cause the user to take unorthodox means to maintain her or his habits.

The solution may be intervention

Sometimes it comes down to the user and those who are friends or family needing an intervention. It helps everyone involved to come to an understanding that this is a crisis and has to be dealt with accordingly. This is a strong technique to end the enabling cycle and begin the path to healing without sacrificing the trust between friends and family.